My name is Sadie Melonhead Treeflower & I am an American Pit Bull Terrier. I’ve invited you here because I want to discuss a very important issue. I’ve been doing some research into the history of pit bulls in relation to humans and I must say I’m more than a little disturbed by what I found. My kind are increasingly targeted for destruction by your kind. I can certainly understand when you get upset about some of my behaviors, like when I chew up your favorite shoes (they’re just so delicious!) or snack from the cat box (also yummy). But these reports of entire cities rounding up my cousins and killing them because they’re pit bulls…well, if I could roll up a newspaper, I’d smack a few people for that kind of breed-murder.
For over a hundred years, we pit bulls have been loyal, loving companions. We were known as Nanny Dogs. We were the mascot for the American military during World War I. We were the spokes-dogs for RCA & Buster Brown Shoes, and cousin Petey was the Little Rascals’ mascot.
Now, we’re reportedly biting, attacking, mauling, and killing people everywhere. Lies, damned lies, and statistics! We don’t hurt people any more than any other breed of dog. I am an American Pit Bull Terrier, not an American Pit Bull Terrorist. Though I suppose we’re easier to catch than those humans who do all the things you say we pit bulls do…
Listen, I am a dog. I behave the way you teach me is acceptable. If you don’t want me to be aggressive & antisocial, then teach me how to behave around people & let me spend time with people…especially YOU. Anyone, human or non-human, will develop bad social habits if they’re kept tied up in the yard with no human interaction. We all need somebody to love.
I’ll say this only once, so pay attention:
Thank you kindly for visiting!